Sexuality, Sexual Identity and Sexual Behaviour

Some attributes like our skin colour, the colour of our eyes or our sex (though not always), we are born with. Some, like our self-image, we actively construct. Other attributes develop over time without us seeming to have thought too much about them.

As human beings we all need to have a relationship with ourselves and mostly that relationship is developed through our relationship with others. Some people end up on a path that seems to make life easy for them. Others walk a path less travelled and seem to encounter barriers, difficulties and prejudice. Where there is a tacit, open acceptance of our thoughts, emotions and behaviours in the society in which we live, life seems to be easier. Even then, however, there may be parts of us which we feel the need to hide away from others. There may be parts which we struggle with and fight against.

Our lead psychologist, Colin Matthews, works with people from all walks of life – company directors, salespersons, sex workers, schoolteachers. Many of the people he sees struggle for acceptance. Not only from others, but also from themselves. We are often the biggest barriers to our own happiness. While people might struggle with different aspects of their identity, how they are as sexual beings is often an area which causes most distress, and the transition from non-acceptance to acceptance can often be a desperately distressing and painful one.

Colin has worked with people who have survived sexual abused as children, young adults and adults; with people whose sex was chosen for them at birth and their organs constructed throughout childhood; with people who have chosen to alter their sex in adulthood and with people defining themselves as “gay”, “straight” and “bi-” and with those who would not commit to a definition. He has also worked with people of different faiths and cultures who had difficulty accepting themselves as sexual beings and with accepting their sexual desires (or lack of them).

If you are struggling with your sexual identity or aspects of your sexuality, your sexual behaviour or sexual preferences and want to understand and explore this in confidence, please contact Colin for further information or to make an appointment.